I might be only 12 days old, but I know how to make a phone call. Daddy, please buy some extra formula and don't forget the diapers! I am pooping like a champion. Oh, and by the way, I won't forgive you for sticking a thermometer up my butt when I had my first constipation. 
Mom, I need food, not that 'giant thing' you keep sticking in my mouth! Don't you know that no matter how much I suck on it, no food is coming out?!
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